Stargate Atlantis and the ZPM
by Puddle-Jumper38
Summary: A search for a ZPM leads to unexpected trouble... and a run in with the Genii
1. Chapter 1: Unstable Ground

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis and no profit is being made

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis and no profit is being made.

**Description:** A search for a ZPM leads to unexpected trouble… as well as a run in with the Genii.

CHAPTER ONE: UNSTABLE GROUND

"McKay!" complained Major Sheppard. "I'm starting to think this is a waste of time.

"What? Are you kidding?" Doctor McKay exclaimed. "You think looking for a ZPM is a waste of time?"

"No, looking for a ZPM we actually have a chance of finding is not a waste of time," Sheppard replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" McKay grumbled, irritated at Sheppard's reluctance to continue.

"Well, McKay I'd just like to point out that so far we've arrived at a planet, seen a rock carving of a ZPM along with a Gate address to where it might be, gone to that planet, only to find a second carving leading to a third planet. So we went to that planet, nearly got killed by a rioting mob angry at their leader, got away, found yet another Gate address, which lead us to this lousy planet, and may I remind you that this planet is a bloody great desert with a Stargate stuck in the middle of it, and apart from that just sand, not even a rock!"

Teyla turned away to hide her smile from Doctor McKay; Major Sheppard had a point, they had got Doctor Weir's permission to look for the ZMP but Teyla didn't think Weir had thought it would take so long.

McKay glared at Sheppard. "Do you want the ZPM or not?"

Sheppard knew McKay could often be right about theses things. He glanced over at the scientist who was glaring at him and sighed; McKay could also be a pain in the ass.

"Yeah, I want it, I just don't think we're gonna find it."

"Well, we might find it, and if we do, don't you think we need it? Imagine if the wraith arrive at Atlantis and we couldn't put up the city's shield because you couldn't be bothered looking for one small Zero Point Module!" McKay demanded, wondering why the Major couldn't see how important things like ZPMs were to Atlantis.

Lt Ford looked over at Sheppard, wondering what would happen next.

Sheppard was looking at McKay. Yep, Rodney could definitely be a pain in the ass, but he did have a point.

"Alright, if you can find out where the hell we go from here we'll continue looking for the ZPM."

Teyla was just thinking how very plain the planet was when the ground shook violently, throwing all four of them off their feet, and then was still again.

" What the hell was that?!" Sheppard exclaimed, irritatedly picking himself off the floor.

"I don't know yet," snapped McKay. "But I did get a strange energy reading from over there," he added, pointing to the right of where they were standing.

"Do you think it's worth checking out?" Sheppard asked McKay.

Ford raised his eyebrows at the Major, suspecting he already knew the answer, as he'd probably asked pretty much the same question many times before.

"An energy reading that possibly caused an earthquake? Why would it ever be worth checking out?" McKay grumbled sarcastically. "Of course it's worth checking out!"

Ford exchanged a glance with Teyla, that had been a very typical answer from McKay.

Sheppard wasn't at all put off.

"Well let's go check it out then." He started off in the direction McKay had pointed at.

Teyla wasn't so sure.

"Are you sure we should approach something that shook much of this land? Because I am not."

"I'd prefer to take a look at it up close so McKay can determine what it is, if it caused the earthquake and if it's likely to happen again." Sheppard had stopped where McKay had said the energy reading was.

"Yea, and not to mention that the ZPM will probably be there. But now we still have the obvious question of how to get down there because I know I didn't bring a shovel," announced McKay, he was staring to frown at his energy readings.

"What? The energy reading is underground?" asked Ford.

"Yes it's underground you idiot, do you see anything near where the Major is standing?"

Teyla stared at McKay. "We will just have to dig…"

She was interrupted by a shout of surprise from the Major.

McKay, Teyla and Ford all turned to where he was standing… or rather where he had been standing. There was now a huge cloud of dust where Sheppard had been.

"Major?!" yelled McKay running over to the dust cloud and nearly falling down the large hole that became visible as the dust cleared.

Teyla and Ford came up behind him.

"Where is he? What happened?" asked Teyla.

"I think the ground must have collapsed, probably weaken by the earthquake," McKay told her. "I t looks like it's about ten meters down and… then there's water, no telling how deep it is."

"Damn right there's water!" came an angry voice from down the hole.

"Major!" called out Teyla.

" Yeah, I'm here," Sheppard replied, swimming into view.

" Is there any sign of the ZPM?" asked McKay.

"No," complained Sheppard. " I think this was your lousy energy reading!" He held up a small pebble, it was glowing blue.

" No, it's definitely not! What are you? An idiot? I picked up a small, strange energy reading, could well have been you rock, and a larger one-" McKay took another look at his energy reader and frowned further. "-that I now know is some living creature, though not human or wraith."

"WHAT?!" spluttered Sheppard angrily.

"You mean there is something down there with the Major?" asked Teyla.

"Yes, there is. I just picked it up," McKay informed her.

"Could you not have told as sooner?" Teyla wanted to know.

"To hell he could have!" Sheppard was cross, not too pissed yet though.

_Opps,_ thought McKay.

"It's not my fault I was too concerned with the huge gaping hole you fell down," grumbled McKay.

"Well get your god damned life sign reader out and tell me where the hell this creature is now!" Sheppard ordered.

McKay obediently took out his life sign reader.

"This is not good," he proclaimed, Sheppard was going to be furious… if the large life sign heading towards him underwater a full speed didn't kill him first.

"What?" Sheppard was glaring at McKay.

McKay frowned, how could he explain??

"Um… Major you might want to move…"

Just then a large furry shape leapt out of the water, Sheppard ducked. It landed on top of him, knocking him underwater.

"Major!" yelled McKay, Teyla and Ford at the same time.

Sheppard came up coughing and spluttering.

"MCKAY!" Okay _now_ he was pissed.

_Uh oh, _thought McKay.

"I might want to move!" mocked Sheppard. "You better get me out of here before that damned furry crocodile comes back again!"

"Right, yeah I'll try.." McKay muttered and then frowned.

What had Sheppard called it? He opened his mouth to comment but Ford beat him to it.

"A furry crocodile sir?" he asked.

"Well, it looked like a crocodile, but it had fur, so yeah, a furry crocodile," Sheppard told him. "Now get me out of here before it comes back and tries to eat me again!"

"That could be difficult," commented McKay.

Sheppard turned to glare at him, McKay knew he was in for it now.

"Damn it McKay!" I don't care how difficult it is, I don't fancy being lunch!" roared Sheppard.

"Look Major, this entire area is a huge underwater cave by the looks of my readings, which are never wrong, so it might be easier to come back with a Puddle Jumper, rather than risking falling down there ourselves," McKay knew Sheppard wasn't going to like that.

"You're thinking about _leaving _me here, with that thing?!" Sheppard stopped in his protest to scan the water. "Where is it anyway?"

McKay glanced down at his life sign reader, oh no it was going for another attack.

"It's coming it fast from your right!"

Sheppard threw himself side ways in the water, just as the 'furry crocodile' clamped its jaws where he had been moments before. It then noticed Sheppard, who was swimming away in the other direction, and gave chase.

"DAMN IT!" yelled Sheppard as he noticed it was following him, he swam away faster, the thing also picked up speed.

Teyla was somehow managing to look concerned and frown at the same time.

"Doctor McKay…" she muttered.

"Not now Teyla! I'm trying to see if the Major's frantic splashing is attracting any more of those things," McKay grumbled.

"My frantic splashing?" panted Sheppard. "I'd rather not be eaten!"

McKay watched helplessly as the Major narrowly avoided been bitten in half.

"Doctor McKay!" Teyla said more insistently.

McKay wished she'd shut up. He was just about to tell her to do so when the Major interrupted him.

"Yes! I've found a little island!" Sheppard exclaimed.

"You've what?!" asked McKay, he then noticed that the Major had moved away from the hole and out of sight.

"I've found a little island. It's not very big, but it's better than nothing." Sheppard sounded slightly happier.

"Doctor McKay," persisted Teyla.

McKay ignored her, Ford looked at him.

"Uh… Doctor, maybe we should listen to Teyla," he suggested.

McKay decided to ignore him too.

"Major, crocodiles can go on land," McKay told Sheppard, wondering if he'd even thought of that.

"It's got flippers, not legs," Sheppard informed him.

"We can call it flipper!" Ford joked.

"Ha ha, very funny," Sheppard grumbled.

"DOCTOR MCKAY!" yelled Teyla urgently.

"WHAT?" shouted McKay.

Hadn't she got the message when he'd been ignoring her?

"I sense wraith in the area, coming closer," Teyla told him.

"Oh," said McKay, taken aback.

"Wraith?" asked Ford quietly.

"Yes, no more than one of you miles away."

"What is it?" Sheppard wanted to know, he evidently hadn't caught the word Wraith.

"They can't possibly be coming!" exclaimed McKay, now ignoring Sheppard.

Sheppard wasn't at all patient.

"Who can't possibly be coming," Sheppard asked.

McKay kept ignoring him.

"I didn't even bring my P90!" he complained.

"What the hell is happening up there?"

'We will have to retreat back through the Stargate," Teyla suggested, happy to come back later now she didn't think Sheppard would be eaten.

"What made you come back to that idea? I repeat: what the hell?!" Sheppard's temper was rising again.

"How many are there?" questioned Ford.

"How many of WHAT?!"

Teyla though about Ford question before answering.

"Ten, maybe more behind them."

"Are you all deaf? Ten of WHAT?!"

"Okay, back to the gate," announced McKay, not wanting to be in the path of ten Wraith and not wanting to be the one to explain the Wraith problem to Sheppard either.

"You're leaving me with ten... things on the way and you won't even tell what they are!" Sheppard was furious, and the furry crocodile was still circling his island.

"Too late," yelled Teyla.

"Too late for WHAT?!"

The Wraith came running in to sight from around d the Stargate.

"DOWN!" yelled Ford, producing a grenade. It knocked down two of the Wraith.

McKay was relived to note that Sheppard had the sense to stay silent. He took out his 9mm and shot at the rest of the Wraith The only problem was he only had two rounds. Both Teyla and Ford were firing their P90s at the Wraith repeatedly. McKay stopped to reload his gun, now if only he could remember how to do that… As McKay nervously fiddled with his gun a Wraith stunner hit him in the chest.

_I'm so screwed_, thought McKay.

Then everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2: Waves

CHAPTER TWO: WAVES CHAPTER TWO: WAVES

Sheppard sat on his small island wondering what he should do. Obviously the Wraith had turned up, that was annoying. McKay had complained that he hadn't brought his P90, Sheppard though he night as well not have brought his.

It was useless.

The stupid things gunpowder was soaked. Even if he did manage to get out of this hole, which didn't seem likely- Sheppard glared at the annoying flippered furball that was _still_ circling him, he would be no help what so ever to Teyla, Ford and McKay.

He heard another explosion from above and it gave him an idea.

There was no way he was sitting here doing nothing. Three people against ten Wraith was not cool.

Sheppard took out a waterproof bag from his vest, it contained three grenades. He took one out, pulled the pin and threw it hard at the roof of the cave that would be near the Stargate, hopefully just behind the wraith.

It exploded and the ceiling collapsed into the water. Sheppard found he had been wrong. Three wraith also fell into the water, one wasn't dead. Sheppard swore. The very surprised wraith began angrily firing stun blasts at him. Sheppard hurled a second grenade at it… and immediately realised his mistake. The wraith was blown to smithereens, except now there was a huge wall of water coming at him.

"Awwww crap," he muttered.

"Major!" yelled Ford, who was now standing on the edge of the second hole.

Sheppard zipped the waterproof bag and then looked up at him, that was when the wave hit.

Sheppard was washed straight off his island and into the deeper water, he was pushed about by the weight of the water, before he blacked out.. What he didn't see was the ground trembling again and more of the roof collapsing.

Ford knew there was nothing he could do as the Major was disappeared in to the huge wave of water. Then the floor shook again. More of the roof collapsed, Ford ran to stable ground, and the rest of the wraith fell into the mass of churning water.

Ford looked behind him, at the huge cloud of dust that had arisen from the third and largest ground collapse. As the dust cleared he saw the now huge hole in the ground, it was at least 50 meters across and 20 wide. To make things worse, McKay was still unconscious on the other side.

Ford looked for Teyla and saw her hanging onto the edge of the hole not to far away. Ford knew he'd only gotten far enough away because he'd seen the Major throw the grenade, Teyla hadn't she'd had no warning.

Ford ran over and helped her up.

"Thank you," gasped Teyla. "Where is Doctor McKay?"

Ford pointed, "He's over there."

"And what of Major Sheppard?" Teyla wanted to know.

"I've no idea. He threw a grenade at the roof of the cave, that's how the second hole was made," Ford told her, he wasn't even sure if Sheppard was still alive.

"What about the rest of this, did you see how this happened?"

Ford stared at her.

"The Major threw a second grenade at a live wraith in the water, it caused some pretty big waves, that could have started another earthquake," said Ford.

"Is he okay?" Teyla repeated.

She'd obvious realised that Sheppard would have been totally dumped.

"Um.. I told you; I don't know, but he was, er… hit by the waves," admitted Ford.

"They both looked back down the hole, the funky crocodile thing was beached on the island. Ford couldn't see Sheppard anywhere, he looked at Teyla, her eyes were scanning the water, she evidently couldn't see anything either. Not good.

"I suppose we should go get McKay," suggested Ford. He saw Teyla was still staring down the hole, except now she was looking at the fuzzy thing.

"What are you lookin' at?" he asked.

"Look at its flipper," she replied.

Ford looked carefully at the thing's flippers, Sheppard's P90 was hanging off its front flipper, still attached to its shoulder strap.

"Oh."

"We should go and get Doctor McKay," said Teyla, and set off around the hole without waiting for an answer.

Ford followed, he was pretty sure the Major hadn't survived.

It took five minutes to reach McKay. He didn't look at all injured. He was just unconscious, the gun he'd been trying to load still in his right hand.

" We need to take him back to Atlantis," Teyla told Ford shortly.

"Yeah, we do. Lets go," Ford still didn't like the idea of leaving the planet, but Sheppard was almost certainly dead, and if he wasn't a search party would be sent out. It was time to go.


	3. Chapter 3: Back in Atlantis

CHAPTER THREE: BACK IN ATLANTIS CHAPTER THREE: BACK IN ATLANTIS

Doctor Weir was worried, Major Sheppard's team hadn't reported back yet, she'd given them permission to search for a ZPM, but it shouldn't have taken so long and even if nothing had gone wrong they should have contacted her by now to say it was going to take a while.

She really hated it when Sheppard went by his own rules.

Weir spoke over communications and called Carson Beckett to her office.

He was there in five minutes.

"Carson," she acknowledged.

"Aye. May I ask if this is about Major Sheppard's team? He's always getting in to trouble, that one," questioned Doctor Beckett.

"Yes, actually it is about Major Sheppard's team. We haven't heard from them for over five hours. I want you to have a medical team on stand by, so if they've had an injury a medical team can already be in the Gate room," requested Weir.

"I'll do that now," replied Doctor Beckett.

"Thank you Carson."

As soon as Doctor Beckett left the gate room the alarm went off to say an off world team were coming in rang out across Atlantis.

Weir hurried off to the gate room.

Major Sheppard woke up with a loud coughing fit. He figured that he must have been washed onto another island of some kind because he wasn't in the water anymore.

He groaned as he sat up, but he could move both of his arms and legs so he couldn't have broken anything. Sheppard realised he couldn't see anything. He was in pitch-blackness.

"Damn! I must have been washed away from the gate!" he grumbled to himself.

It echoed.

Sheppard decided he must be quite a long way from the hole that he'd created. He wondered how long he'd been unconscious for.

A little blue glow came from about a meter from his right. It was the little stone that had been giving off an energy reading.

Sheppard scrambled for his P90 so he could use its flashlight to see if the stone was in the water or on his island. The P90 wasn't there.

_Oh, brilliant!_ thought Sheppard _I've lost it_.

He walked slowly forward and picked up the stone. It was incredibly slippery, he accidentally dropped it again.

The result was an earthquake.

Sheppard was thrown onto his back and part of the roof collapsed.

"Oh well done John, you caused an earthquake," Sheppard yelled at himself.

At least he could see now. It turned out his island was quite small, only about five meters round.

Huh? The island was a perfect circle.

There was a large square black in the middle, carved into it there was another gate address. Another gate address to find the ZPM. Stupid thing.

Sheppard memorised it. Now it was definitely time for him to get out of the underwater cave. He looked at his remaining grenade, then at the earthquake causing rock, perfect.

He picked up the stone again, and gently hit it against the floor. The one side of the island still covered by a roof was now shed in light, the ground was covered in a large amount of rubble.

Sheppard threw the Grenade so that it caused more rubble to fall on top of the first amount. There was now a seven metre high tower of rubble.

McKay woke up in the infirmary.

"He should be able to go as soon as he wakes up properly, Dr Weir," he heard Doctor Beckett saying.

"Good."

Wow, what a brilliant answer from Weir, it was more than good that he was going to be fine, he was the smartest person on Atlantis!

He heard Weir leave the room.

McKay opened his eyes and glared at Beckett

"What am I doing here? I'm meant to be looking for a ZPM! If you hadn't noticed, we desperately need one, or when the wraith get here we're going to be toast! Do you here me? We will be totally screwed!!" McKay was getting cross.

Beckett looked a bit taken aback.

"Rodney, you're awake."

"Yes I am! And you said I can go, so I'm going!"

McKay stormed off, leaving a very surprised looking Beckett behind him, and caught up with Weir.

"Oh?! McKay, I didn't know you had even woken up yet," she told him.

"Yes, yes, I'm awake. Now about the Major…" McKay began, wondering if there'd left Sheppard on his island and made a dash threw the gate because of the wraith.

"You're welcome to join the search party, if that's what you're asking," Weir interrupted.

McKay was alarmed.

"Search party?" he asked, what didn't he know?

"Oh my God! I forgot, you wouldn't know!" exclaimed Weir.

"What happened?!" demanded McKay, of course he wouldn't know, he'd been hit with a wraith stunner and didn't even know if both Ford and Teyla had managed to escape the wraith. All he knew was that one of them must have or he wouldn't be back in Atlantis.

Then Weir launched into this whole explanation about how, after he'd been hit, Sheppard had thrown a grenade at the cave roof, knocking two dead wraith a one live one into the water.. She explained how he's thrown a second grenade at the live wraith , causing huge waves and a lot more of the cave roof to collapse.

"… Ford last saw him before he disappeared into the waves," she concluded.

_The idiot,_ thought McKay. _How stupid do you get? You don't throw grenades at water!_

McKay looked at Weir.

"He hasn't been seen since?" McKay questioned.

"No," Weir confirmed quietly. "We're just about to send out a search party."

McKay realised that it was more of a search party for a body… still, it _was_ possible…

"Yes, I'll go."

Weir nodded and walked off. McKay watched her go.


	4. Chapter 4: Lost

CHAPTER FOUR: LOST CHAPTER FOUR: LOST

Teyla, Ford and McKay scouted around the immediate area around the huge hole, they had the job checking for wraith.

Teyla sighed to herself, she still couldn't sense any.

"Still nothing, I do not believe that if the was more that they would have stayed long," She informed Ford and McKay.

"Oh, well isn't that just fantastic!" McKay muttered. He was looking at his life sigh reader, but the hot weather on the planet seemed to put him in a foul mood.

Because of the fact that he just looked plain angry, Teyla knew that he was not picking up any wraith either.

Teyla was worried. McKay hadn't detected any wraith, but when they had first arrived on the planet, they had found no extra human life signs in the immediate area either. And that meant that there was no sign of Major Sheppard.

"Shall we try a different direction?" Ford asked.

"Yes, it is likely that the wraith would have wanted to be on both two sides of their prey," Teyla informed him. She turned to McKay.

"Yeah, okay, whatever," McKay agreed wiping sweat off his brow, it was obviously too hot for his liking on the planet

"So… over there?" Ford wanted to know, pointing in the opposite direction to the Stargate and the opposite direction to where the wraith had attacked them.

"Yes," said Teyla, the direction Ford was pointing to was where the wraith were most likely to be if they had bothered to stay on the planet.

They'd walked about 100 meters before Ford received a radio message.

"_Lt Ford, this is Jumper three. Do you read?"_

Teyla watched as Ford tapped the button on his radio and replied.

"Yeah, hearing you loud and clear, Jumper three."

"_There is a second hole not to far from you're position and we request that you check it out."_

"No problem. May I ask how far?" Ford answered.

"_About a quarter mile in front of you, lieutenant."_

"Okay, got that," Ford replied.

"_Jumper three out."_

Teyla turned to Ford.

"Another hole?" she questioned.

McKay was the one who answered.

"Obviously, as a result of all the earthquakes there is bound to be more than one whole, I can't see why we have to go and look at this one. It seems like a waste of our time to me," he grumbled, the hot weather was definitely still getting to him.

Teyla decided that it would probably be a waste of her breath to try to convince him other wise.

"Yeah well we gotta go look at it anyway," Ford informed McKay.

McKay just glared at him.

Teyla sighed.

McKay saw the hole only when it was about fifty meters away. It was only around ten by five long, nothing special. As he'd pointed out to Teyla and Ford, not worth looking at.

Lt Ford reached it first.

"Will you look at that!" exclaimed Ford.

"What? It's a small hole it the ground leading to an underwater cave that we already know about, how interesting," muttered McKay sarcastically. What could possibly be at all interesting about a hole in the ground? Particularly such a small one, if it had been hugely massive it might have been interesting be what could be exciting about a small hole in the ground?

He found out when he got there.

As he peered down the hole he saw an island about five meters round, a perfect circle, or would have been, except there was a seven-meter high tower of roof rubble covering half of it.

McKay looked closer at the rubble free side of the island. There was something scratched in to the floor of the island. It was writing.

This is what McKay saw:

IF ANYONE FINDS THIS

I WENT THAT WAY

The arrow was pointing in the opposite direction to the Stargate.

"Hmmm. Interesting," commented McKay.

He saw Ford grin out of the corner of his eye. Teyla was looking relieved.

McKay turned to her.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you think that could have been Major Sheppard?" she wanted to know.

McKay looked at the writing again, then at the arrow.

"If it is, he's gone the wrong way."

Major Sheppard was lost. There was nothing but desert in every direction, he wasn't even sure how to get back to his hole, not that he thought finding that again would do much good, it was the Stargate he needed. It was too damn hot on the planet and he really needed to get back to Atlantis

How dumb had it been to throw that grenade at the water? Pretty stupid. He wouldn't be in this mess if he'd just thought for a second before blasting the wraith. He'd figured out he was in a really bad position. Sheppard knew that Teyla, Ford and McKay would have gone back threw the Stargate, assuming the wraith hadn't got them, or an earthquake. The stupid blue stone obviously caused earthquakes whenever it was hit hard enough, and it had been hit with a ton of water.

Sheppard still had it with him. He'd been tempted to throw it back down the hole after he'd climbed the rubble pile and jumped out, but hadn't wanted to cause an earthquake that would likely send him back down in to the water. He decided to put it gently down on the floor and if he found it again he'd know if he was going round in circles or not.

About ten minutes later he tripped over it.

Yep, he was going round in circles.

The stone hadn't appreciated being tripped over. The ground shook, and Sheppard was thrown off his feet again. He stood up angrily, and picked up the stone. He'd had enough of it. Sheppard hurled the stone behind him as hard as he could and took off in the opposite direction, being careful to go in a straight line.

Ford knew that McKay was irritated. A small earthquake had just occurred, it hadn't been very strong, but still annoying.

Ford was just about to asked McKay if he'd figured out what was causing the earthquakes, when the whole ground shook incredibly violently and he nearly fell into the underwater cave with some collapsing ground.

When the ground finally stopped trembling, Ford shakily got to his feet.

"Teyla! Dr McKay! You guys okay?" Ford called out into a massive dust cloud.

"Yes, I'm fine," came McKay's voice.

"I am also fine," Ford heard Teyla call.

Once the dust had cleared Ford saw them getting up off the ground, he also saw the mine the ground had become.

"Wow, check out all these holes!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, wow holes. How very exciting," McKay was not impressed. "We should go back to the gate it's getting to dangerous out here."

"Do you know what's causing the groundquakes yet Doctor McKay?" Teyla asked.

Ford saw McKay was really cross now.

"No, I don't! They don't even have a particular pattern!"

"Planet of the earthquakes!" said Ford, unable to resist.

"Whatever," grumbled McKay. "Teyla, please say there are no wraith in the area.

Ford was relieved to hear Teyla's reply.

"I sense none," she told McKay. "Although you may wish t use your life sign reader to check."

McKay glanced at the scanner.

"No," he confirmed.

Ford saw a small blue glow a little way off.

"Hey, what's that?" he asked McKay.

McKay looked up from his scanner.

"A little blue glow, what are you, blind?" came the sarcastic reply.

"No, I mean, what's causing it?" Ford tried again.

"_I_ don't know, but we can go take a look if it will make you shut up," McKay was obviously still in a very bad mood.

Ford was already dodging round the holes to see it. Teyla had followed him.

McKay grumpily followed Ford and Teyla.

_Great_ he thought. _It's too hot and I've walked too far and now we're going further to check out a little blue glowy thing. Hang on. Blue glowing thing? The stone! The little pebble Sheppard found! It was glowing blue!!_

McKay caught up with Teyla and Ford.

"Is it a stone?" ha asked them.

"Yes it is. Is it important." Teyla wanted to know, she was holding it.

"Not really, but remember when we first found the crocodile thing? Sheppard was holding this!" McKay pointed out. Wondering how the stone had found it's way out of the hole.

"You're right!" exclaimed Ford.

"Of course I'm right," McKay told him, and caught Ford rolling his eyes at the comment.

McKay checked his scanner for wraith. No wraith, but there was another life sign being picked up, about half a mile from where they were.

"Ah ha!" he yelled out.

"What?" asked Ford.

"I sense no wraith," commented Teyla.

"No, not a wraith. I'm getting another life sign half a mile from here, it's big enough to be a human in that direction." McKay pointed in the opposite direction to the Stargate.

"Do you think…" Teyla started.

"Yes, I do think its Major Sheppard," interrupted McKay. "I can't see why anyone else but us clueless earthlings, and you, would bother coming here. There are too many earthquakes. Besides do you think that stone got out of the underwater cave all by itself?"

"Lets go find him then!" suggested Ford.

McKay glared at him.

"We are **not** walking any further unless it's back to the Stargate! We can radio a Jumper to pick us and him up," announced McKay.

McKay watched Ford try his radio.

"We must be out of range," said Ford then glanced behind them. "You can't even see the Stargate anymore!!"

"We're out of radio range!" McKay repeated. "Great, just fantastic."

"Well lets go see if your life sign is Major Sheppard or not!" suggested Ford.

McKay could have predicted that answer.

"Fine," he grumbled.


	5. Chapter 5: Found

CHAPTER FIVE: FOUND CHAPTER FIVE: FOUND

Sheppard was not happy. The large earthquake that had predictably happened once he'd hurled the blue pebble had caused a lot of the ground to collapse. Luckily he'd gotten away with just been thrown to the floor, _again._

That wasn't what he was pissed about.

He was _sti_ll lost, the Stargate was nowhere in sight. To make matters worse he had no food of water with him.

Great, lost in a desert with no food or water.

Sheppard looked at his radio. Like his P90, wherever that had gone, it was useless. The lousy piece of junk had short-circuited. It probably wouldn't be much use even if it was working, McKay Teyla and Ford would be back in Atlantis, (or in a wraith hive ship).

Sheppard glanced around again and saw three shapes on the horizon. He immediate thought was that they were wraith.

He searched for somewhere to hide, but of course there was nowhere. Nothing but desert in every direction.

And the holes.

Teyla turned to McKay.

"Where is he? You said that we should have seen him by now," she asked McKay.

"Well, we should have, but according to this thing…" McKay indicated to his scanner, "We walked right past him."

"What? I didn't see anyone!" Ford was confused.

Teyla frowned, "Do you think he may have fallen down another hole in that last strong groundquake, Doctor McKay?"

Sheppard pulled himself up and out of the hole he'd been holding on to the edge of and came up behind them.

Teyla was squinting in to the distance.

"Doctor McKay," she said.

"Please say it's not wraith!" McKay complained.

Sheppard had already seen what she was looking at, not good.

"No, not wraith, look," Teyla told McKay.

McKay looked, he saw the dust storm headed their way.

"That's not good," observed McKay.

"No, it's not," commented Sheppard.

Teyla and Ford whirled around and saw him. He must have startled McKay because he jumped, overbalanced and fell backwards into a hole with a splash. Idiot.

"Major Sheppard!" exclaimed Teyla.

"Yeah, it's good to see you,' Sheppard relied. "McKay just fell down that hole."

"Huh?" grunted Ford in surprise.

Sheppard sighed. "I think I must have startled him, He fell down that hole."

"Um… yeah, where were you?" Ford wanted to know.

"I was holding on to the edge of a hole, hiding. I saw you on the horizon, I thought you were wraith."

"Hello? Is anyone going to help me?" McKay's voice floated up from in the hole.

"Uh," Sheppard answered.

"Are you deciding whether to ditch me or not?" came McKay's arrogant answer. "Because I won't like being left down this hole!"

Sheppard laughed at him.

"You tell me how you plan to get out of there. You're always going on about how you're such a genius!" Sheppard reminded McKay.

McKay didn't seem to like his answer that much.

"I am a genius. But considering you're already gotten out once I was wondering if you were going to bother help me!" retorted McKay.

"No need. There's a Jumper headed this way," Sheppard reported, looking up at the box like ship coming towards them.

Lorne glanced at the life signs that the Puddle Jumper was picking up. That was weird, there were four of them and he could only see three people.

"Bates, do you see that?" he asked Sergeant Bates.

"I see three people."

"True, but the ship is picking up a fourth. Yet we only see Ford, Teyla and… that doesn't look like McKay," noted Lorne frowning.

"No, it doesn't," Bates confirmed.

Lorne squinted at the third visible person.

"That looks like… Major Sheppard!" Lorne observed.

"So he's here, alive and well, while we've got people searching for his body back at the gate?" Bates questioned disbelievingly.

"Apparently," commented Lorne.

"So where's McKay?" Bates wanted to know.

Lorne checked the Jumpers scans.

"About a meter from the Major's position," he told Bates.

"There's a hole there," pointed out Bates.

"Looks like we're gonna have to get his sorry ass out of there," muttered Lorne.

McKay was frantically waving his arms about trying to catch whoever was in the Puddle Jumper's attention. He noticed that Ford was using his radio. Great. Someone could have stopped him waving his arms around like an idiot.

Sheppard was grinning at him.

Speaking of idiots.

"You could have said something," complained McKay.

"But you were having such a good time doing water aerobics," Sheppard returned, still grinning.

"Very funny, ha, ha. What about that dust storm, huh? Have we all forgotten about that little problem, hmm?" McKay shot back, nit enjoying having to trend water. It wasn't exactly easy, good thing Ancient technology could take a little water.

"Actually according to Ford, Lorne and Bates are getting a rope ready to get you out of that hole you fell down…" Sheppard began.

"That was your fault," interrupted McKay not wanting to just stand there (or rather _float_) and get mocked.

"…then they're going to land, pick us up and fly back to Atlantis, through the Stargate," Sheppard continued, ignoring McKay completely (McKay was slightly irritated at this and was tempted to ask Teyla to throw the stupid blue pebble at him, but he needed it for research so didn't.).

"This is all before the dust storm arrives?" McKay didn't think they would be quick enough.

"Before it really picks up you mean," Sheppard corrected, McKay guessed it would already be getting windy up there. "And, yeah, hopefully."

A rope dropped down next to McKay, dangling from the Puddle Jumper. He happily grabbed it, and was pulled out of the water, and then out of the hole.

It sure was windy up there.

Lorne was just about to land the Puddle Jumper when the full force of the storm hit.

Sheppard coughed, and nearly fell back in to a hole, wouldn't that have been annoying?

Sheppard tried to see through all the sand, but just hurt his eyes. He heard a distinctive:

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" followed by a splash that marked McKay falling back down the hole he'd just been rescued from.

Clever.

Sheppard crouched down to avoid being bowled over by the sand, he still couldn't see anything

He found himself half buried in a matter of seconds.

A soft thud to his right meant Ford or Teyla (or both) had just fallen over.

He hoped Lorne had managed to land the Puddle Jumper in time, if not Lorne would be lucky not to crash. Strong winds and not being able to see outside were not exactly ideal conditions to fly a Jumper in. What they really didn't need was a Puddle Jumper joining Rodney down in a hole. The ZPM search didn't seem to be going very well at all.

Sheppard realised he was almost completely buried, not good.

That was when the ground began to shake (again).

Teyla must have dropped the earthquake stone.

Teyla froze as the groundquakes started again. Where had they come from again?

She heard a splash. It was the second one she'd heard. She guessed the first one had been McKay, because of the 'Ahhhhhhhhhh' before it, but now either Ford or Sheppard were also down there.

Eventually the storm passed.

Teyla discovered the only reason she had remain standing during the sand storm was that she was buried up to her ribs in sand a huge sand pile.

She saw the Puddle Jumper had landed not too far away.

There were a whole lot of new holes around.

In the middle of lots the holes there was a sand pile. It was about a meter high. It moved.

First it shook a little and then totally fell apart as Major Sheppard emerged from it. He must have been crouching down.

So Lt Ford and Doctor McKay were the ones down in the water.

"I think it's just about time to leave this planet," grumbled Sheppard.

Teyla contacted the Puddle Jumper, totally agreeing with Major Sheppard.

"Lorne, this is Teyla. We now have Dr McKay and Lt Ford in the water. Could you please help them out." She said into her radio.

"_On it now,_" came Lorne's reply.

Teyla watched as Ford and McKay were lifted from their holes.

Sheppard snorted as McKay started grumbling at Lorne and Bates for being too slow and not being careful enough with his back. McKay then retrieved the little blue pebble from the ground where Teyla had accidentally dropped it.

Ford was fiddling with his gun, trying, and failing, to remove the now sodden gunpowder from it.

Teyla realised she was the only one who hadn't fallen down in to the under water cave. She smiled as she walked back over to the Puddle Jumper; she seemed to have been quite lucky really.


	6. Chapter 6: Mission Report

CHAPTER SIX: MISSION REPORT Authors Note: This is chapter six. This is chapter six. This is chapter six. I know what you're thinking… DUH. So why am I telling you? Because when I first posted the story I put up chapter seven instead. (thank you for telling me!) CHAPTER SIX: MISSION REPORT

McKay irritatedly walked into the meeting room, where they were just about to discuss what to do about the ZPM they had been looking for. It seemed very obvious to McKay.

They should go back in Jumpers to the desert planet and search it until they found the ZPM or another gate address.

He walked into the meeting room and sat down.

Dr Weir started the meeting.

"So, what shall we do with this ZPM hunting?" she asked everyone in the room.

McKay decided to immediately suggest his idea.

"We go back to that desert planet by Jumper, and find either the ZPM or another Stargate address that will lead us to the ZPM."

"No, lets not go back to the desert planet," replied Sheppard.

McKay stared at him in amazement.

"I thought we'd already been throw this Major." He decided to simplify it. "ZPMs are good. They help us fight off bad wraith. We need a ZPM."

"I know that McKay. What I was saying is we don't need to go back to that planet because…" Sheppard started to explain.

"Major! I don't care if you don't think we're gonna find it!" McKay personally didn't care if Sheppard wanted to argue about it; Weir knew how important ZPMs were to Atlantis. They would definitely end up going back to the planet. "For the third time, _we need a ZPM_!"

"Major Sheppard, he is right. Atlantis needs all the protection it can get." McKay was pleased top hear that Teyla was on his side.

"You see? We need to go back there, even if it means getting another gate address at least will be closer to the ZPM!" He attempted to press his point further.

"I've already gotta damned gate address!" retorted Sheppard.

McKay was just about to continue his argument on the importance of ZPMs when he realised what Sheppard had just said.

You've done what now?" he spluttered.

"You've got another gate address?" questioned Weir.

"Yeah, I have. I found it on one of the islands in the underground cave on the desert planet," Sheppard explained.

McKay felt that Sheppard could have shared this information sooner.

"And this is the first we hear of it?" McKay was starting to get a bit irritated at Sheppard. Okay, more than a bit. He was furious, worse Sheppard was _smirking _at him. The bastard!

"Sorry. I knew we were having a meeting today and I figured you could wait that long." He didn't look very sorry.

"I would rather have known as soon as we got back!" McKay snapped.

"Doctor McKay," Teyla broke in.

"What?"

"At least Major Sheppard told us, there is no reason to get cross about it." So much for thinking Teyla was on his side.

"She's right," Ford agreed.

McKay decided that he needed a good long glare. So he gave him one. He saw Sheppard grinning out of the corner of his eye and glared a t him too.

"So are you all happy to continue looking for the ZPM?" asked Weir.

"Of course," replied McKay instantly.

"Yes, I am happy to continue," Teyla answered.

"Sure, why not," Ford agreed.

McKay narrowed his eyes at Sheppard.

"Yeah, that's what I got the gate address for," Sheppard informed Weir, he was obviously ignoring McKay's smug look.

"Well then, you have a go," Weir told them. "Oh, one more thing. Rodney, what did you get from that stone you brought back?"

"What? The earthquake pebble?" asked Sheppard. "We brought it back with us?"

McKay was confused.

"Earthquake pebble?"

"Yeah, you are talking about the pebble that was glowing blue and causing earthquakes, right?" asked Sheppard, he was really getting on McKay's nerves now.

"What makes you think that it was causing the earthquakes?" demanded McKay, _who_ was meant to be the scientist here?

"Everytime something hit it, it caused an earthquake. You know that really violent earthquake, when you guys had just finished checking out the hole I'd escaped from? That was because I threw it behind me because I was getting a bit cross at it."

McKay was now furious at him.

"You caused that earthquake? That was you?!"

Sheppard was really gonna have to pay for that!

"Yeah, sorry about that." Yet again, McKay noted he didn't look sorry.

"Okay, so we know what the stone does," Weir observed. "McKay what do you suggest we do with it?"

"Put it back on that planet and never have anything whatsoever to do with it again?" suggested Sheppard unhelpfully.

"No," replied McKay grouchily. "We keep it in Atlantis and see if we can harness its energy so we can use it to fend off wraith. I'll get Zelenka to check if it can cause earthquakes here first of course."

"You think it could cause earthquakes here?!" exclaimed Weir, looking worried.

"I doubt it but I'll have Zelenka check anyway," McKay told her

"Good," Weir nodded at them. It was her usual way of saying that the meeting was over and they could set out on their mission.


	7. Chapter 7: Shared Insults

CHAPTER SEVEN: SHARED INSULTS CHAPTER SEVEN: SHARED INSULTS

Sheppard frowned at the large jungle ahead of them. They'd just walked out of the gate and were now confronted with a very dense looking jungle. H hoped that the ZPM wasn't in there and that they'd go a few steps and find a gate address which would lead them straight to the ZPM … without having to search threw the jungle. Problem was; with the Ancients, things were never that simple.

"Oi, McKay, getting any energy readings?" he asked.

"I don't know," snapped McKay.

_Great, _thought Sheppard. _ Here comes the McKay lecture about jungles._

"In case you hadn't noticed, we've practically walked into a jungle, and stuff like rainforests and jungles contain lots and lots of animals, major…"

Sheppard rolled his eyes.

"…so picking up an inactive ZPM is next to impossible. Although I am picking up some strong energy readings from that direction." McKay was now pointing directly infront of them. It looked like they were going to have to struggle through dense jungle. Sheppard was not pleased.

"Okay, lets go take a look," grumbled Sheppard, knowing McKay would want to check it out.

"Sir," called Ford. "How do we tell what's some sort of animal and what's a wraith or person on McKay's scanner?"

"I don't think we can Lieutenant," Sheppard told him.

"Of course we can't," McKay confirmed, being his usual arrogant self.

"Teyla, McKay you two lead, me and Ford will back you up," Sheppard suggested.

Sheppard watched as they walked into the trees and nodded for Ford to go after them, and then took up the rear.

There were no paths, so he soon found himself hacking his way through overhanging branches and bushes to keep up, as well as having Ford accidentally pinging branches in his face, it was not a pleasant walk.

After what seemed like hours they walked out of the jungle and found themselves confronted with a castle.

""I think the power for the castle was my energy reading," McKay admitted.

Sheppard spotted a person high up in the battlements at the top of the tower.

"Hello!" he called.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" whoever they were snapped back.

"We're travellers," Sheppard yelled back.

"Major," said Teyla. "If we are to continue searching for the ZPM we may go to far to make it back to the Stargate by dark. We should make friends with these people."

"I'll try, but they don't seem very friendly," Sheppard pointed out.

Sure enough there wasn't a very nice reply.

"We care nothing for travellers, so go away!"

"We come from the city of Atlantis," tried McKay. "We're searching for a power source for the great city, so we can defeat the wraith. Will you help us?"

"No we will not! See, we've already got one."

Sheppard was confused.

"What? You've got a power source for Atlantis? Are you sure?" he asked, looking at McKay.

McKay shook his head. "Can't have. I'm not getting a strong enough energy reading."

"Yes, we've got one. It's very nice," the person called back.

"Uh… can we see it?" Sheppard wanted to know.

"Of course you can't, now go away or I will be forced to drive you off!"

Kolya smiled at his Genii guard, he was doing a very good job.

"I told them we've already got one," his guard told him.

"Yes, I know. Good job, keep going."

Teyla watched as both Sheppard and McKay tried, and failed, to get the person to tell them more.

"Can we talk to someone else?" asked Sheppard.

"No, you can't, you, you… you shrubs! Now leave me in peace!"

Dr McKay appeared to lose his temper.

"Alright you stupid bastard, shut up, go away and either let us talk to someone else or give us the power source!"

Teyla didn't think McKay approach was the best one.

"You are a stupid bunch of travellers, I blow my nose in your faces! You are insulting me by even being here, you are not rightful to be in the city of the ancestors, now go away before a blow a hole in your already ugly heads!"

"Charming," muttered Sheppard.

"I think we should leave this person in peace.," suggested Teyla.

She definitely didn't think staying was a good idea.

Unfortunately McKay didn't share her opinion.

"Now look here! If you don't let us in right now we'll take your castle by force!" he roared.

Teyla winced.

The Genii guard turned to his master.

"The weak explosives?" he asked.

"Yes," answered Kolya. "The weak explosives.

I press enter and I have too big a gap, how do I fix it?

Ford personally agreed with Teyla They should go, McKay had said the wrong thing.

Sheppard was giving McKay a very nasty glare.

"What did you say that for/" Sheppard demanded.

"If these people really do have a ZPM, we need it, and they're really insulting and annoying so personally I'd rather take it by force," McKay replied.

Ford saw several small black shapes come flying from the castle.

"Look out!" he yelled.

Both Major Sheppard and Dr McKay stopped arguing and looked.

Ford noticed Teyla had already looked, seen and was diving to the side since he'd yelled.

"Crap!" exclaimed Sheppard.

He and McKay both leapt to the side. Ford followed, just as the things hit. There were two explosions from where they'd been standing seconds before.

"Run!" ordered Sheppard seeing more coming.

They all ran in the same direction, and dived into a small ditch.

Ford heard more explosions.

When there was finally silence again, Ford saw Sheppard poke his head out of the ditch to take a look.

"I can't see anyone up there anymore. We should go around the castle and keep looking for the ZPM," Sheppard suggested.

"I think leaving that nutter to his people is definitely a good idea," grumbled McKay in agreement.

They cautiously left the ditch and walked back towards the jungle. Yet again Ford saw something hurtling towards them except this time it was bigger.

"Sir, we've got incoming," he told Sheppard.

Sheppard looked up to see a large tree like shape headed towards them.

"Run for the jungle," he yelled.

McKay hadn't heard, he was too busy yawning.

"McKay! Move!" Sheppard exclaimed.

McKay looked up. He moved to the side, but wasn't quite quick enough and the tree clipped the side of his head, knocking him out.

"Out of all the stupid things!" grumbled Sheppard, and threw McKay over his shoulder and he Ford and Teyla ran into the safety of the jungle.

McKay woke up leaning against a tree, he had one hell of a headache.

"Uh…" he groaned.

"He opened his eyes and the world spun a bit before coming into focus.

Teyla was leaning over him.

"Lie still," she suggested.

_Yeah like I was just about to get up and start dancing a jig! _ Thought McKay irritably.

He realised he couldn't see Ford or Sheppard.

"Where'd Sheppard and Ford go?" he mumbled.

"They have gone to scout the area for a Zero Point Module," Teyla told him.

McKay groaned, that was just fantastic.

"You do remember that the Major has a tendency to get lost, don't you?" he questioned.

"He promised he would not go far," Teyla replied.

"He doesn't need to go far to get lost," McKay retorted.

"I am sure he will be fine," Teyla insisted.

"I'm not, when did he leave?"

"He has been gone ten minutes."

He'll have got both himself and Ford lost in the first five. We should radio him."

"If they are not back in another ten minutes, then I will radio him."

McKay sighed.

"And by then he will be so lost that we won't be able to find them, look, Teyla, the only time Major Sheppard manages not to get lost is when he's flying a ship. He will have no idea how to get back here and then he'll start blaming Ford. If we don't radio them now and go find them, Sheppard will have got them so lost we'll never see them again! Even when he's guessing he manages to go the wrong way!"

"Gee, thanks," Sheppard walked out of the jungle, followed by Ford.

_Opps,_ thought McKay.

"We found a bridge over two cliffs just over there," Sheppard told them.

"And you got back again. Well done Major, I congratulate you." It was worth the glare he got.

"I don't get lost that easily, McKay," grumbled Sheppard.

McKay snorted.

"Oh yes you do. As I said that only time when you don't get lost is when you're flying some sort of ship, helicopter or whatever."

"It's easier to know where you're going in the air," Sheppard informed him.

"Fine, lets go check out your bridge." McKay knew he was giving in but he didn't particularly care, he had a splitting headache.

He must have been wearing a pained expression when he stood up because Teyla took a step towards him.

"Doctor McKay, are you alright?" she basked him.

"Better than I could have been., the tree only just managed to hit the side of my head, not full on, I'll be fine."

"Yeah, about that," Sheppard started. "That was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen. You just stood there!"

"I'm getting this from someone who made tidal waves by throwing a grenade at water?" McKay retorted.

"I was throwing it in defence, I just didn't think it through properly. You on the other hand, you were too busy yawned to notice that a tree had been launched at you!" Sheppard shot back.

"Oh, so yawning's against the law now? I'll try not to _yawn_ on the job next time Major!" snapped McKay.

McKay was happy to see Sheppard just sigh and roll his eyes at that, it usually meant he wasn't going to bother continue the argument, and McKay found he had too big a headache to argue at the moment.

"The bridge is five minutes that way," Sheppard said, as predicted he didn't continue arguing.

"You lead the way," McKay replied.


	8. Chapter 8: Stupidity and Explosions

CHAPTER EIGHT: STUPIDITY, EXPLOSIONS AND POISONS CHAPTER EIGHT: STUPIDITY, EXPLOSIONS AND POISONS

Teyla stopped as they came out of the jungle and faced the bridge. There was a fairly old man standing right at the entrance to it. He was holding something.

"This is my bridge, you may not pass," he said.

Teyla frowned, that wasn't good.

"Uh… we just wanted to cross it," Sheppard told him.

"But you can not without my permission, See this?" He held out a small black device that looked a bit like a Puddle Jumper remote. "You can't cross the bridge without using it, or the bridge slides away!" he cackled loudly.

"Can we have a demonstration?" Sheppard asked innocently.

"Sure. See, I press this button," the man pressed a button and walked onto the bridge. "and the bridge is safe. However, if you don't press the button," he walked off the bridge and set the remote down, "This happens."

He walked back onto the bridge.

The bridge split in half and he was sent flying down into a churning river below.

"Okay, McKay, I take back what I said about you before, _that_ was the stupidest thing I have ever seen," Sheppard told McKay. "I just wanted to see which button made the bridge safe."

Teyla couldn't help it, she snorted. Ford was also grinning.

McKay walked up and pressed the button to make the bridge safe.

"Lets get moving," he suggested. "I'm getting something that could be an inactive ZPM in that direction," he pointed directly across the bridge.

Ford grinned as they walked out of the trees again, except this time there was a huge pillar, that was obviously Ancient design, and the ZPM was about half way up it.

"I don't think it's been used at all yet," McKay told them.

"Brilliant," commented Ford. "Now how do we get it?"

They were about twenty meters from it when the whole pillar erupted in a ball of flame. They were showered with bits of ZPM and pillar.

"You're kidding me!" McKay's jaw had dropped open.

"Oh, come on!" complained Sheppard.

Ford couldn't believe what he'd just seen. That was, until some sort of dart came out of the bushes and hit McKay in the neck, knocking him out.

Ford took out his P90 and pointed it in the bushes. He saw Sheppard and Teyla do the same.

Twenty armed guards emerged from the bushes all holding guns.

Sheppard sighed, "How's this for déjà vu?" he asked Ford.

Ford knew what he meant. They'd just had a ZPM taken from right under their noses, again. But Ford also got the feeling of déjà vu from the fact that they were all wearing Genii uniforms and holding Genii weapons. Sure enough Kolya appeared.

McKay woke up.

"Uh…" his eyes snapped open. "What's this? Where'd he come from?"

McKay was pointing at Kolya

"You were wrong to come here. This is my planet, so I'm afraid I'll have to kill you all," Kolya told them. He raised his gun…

And Sheppard shot down the five men behind him, Ford, Teyla and McKay.

"RUN!!" he ordered.

Ford didn't need telling twice, he pulled McKay to his feet and ran after Teyla, Sheppard took up the rear. Gunshots followed them.

They'd been running for about five minutes, and had crossed the bridge, when McKay grunted, stumbled and fell.

Ford turned to see him unconscious on the floor. Sheppard promptantly him up and threw him over his shoulder.

"Keep moving," he ordered.

Two minutes later Sheppard was hit with a dart. Ford signalled to Teyla and they dragged Sheppard and McKay into the clearing they'd been in before.

The darts didn't seem to last long because Sheppard woke up when they reached the clearing.

Sheppard woke up with a headache. He opened his eyes to find they were in the same clearing they'd been in earlier.

"Why'd McKay collapse?"

"Major, you're awake," Teyla noticed.

"Yup. Now can you tell me why McKay collapsed?" he repeated.

"We don't know. We don't _think _that he was hit with another dart," Ford replied.

"He wasn't. That's why I asked," Sheppard said, frowning.

His fixed radio suddenly burst in to life.

"_We know you can hear us. WE have tuned our radios to your frequency," _ Kolya's voice rang out.

"Oh fantastic," grumbled Sheppard.

"I would like to tell you that you will never escape this planet alive, we have the Stargate watched. You will not get through. I know what you're thinking, you'll shoot them down and escape through the gate. But you'll be carrying Doctor McKay, there was poison in that dart. Oh, and I do believe, Major Sheppard, that you were also hit by a dart…"

Sheppard swore.

.." so the poison will react soon and you will also be unconscious, leaving Teyla and Lt Ford to try and get past my guards dragging you and McKay. You don't have a hope.

Sheppard switched off his radio.

"Ford you take McKay, Teyla head for the gate, Ford, you go behind her, I'll go last."

"But," Ford protested.

"No buts, lieutenant, and if Kolya is telling the truth and I do collapse, leave me behind."

"But…" Ford repeated.

"That's an order, lieutenant.!" Sheppard insisted.

In no time he found himself charging through the jungle behind Teyla and Ford, but he was struggling to keep up. He was already breathing heavily.

Sheppard noticed Ford give him a concerned look.

"You okay Major?" Ford wanted to know.

"I'll.. manage…" Sheppard grunted realising he was already struggling to keep up and his vision was blurring. He wished Ford would quit staring at him.

"Are you sure you don't need to stop?" asked Ford slowing down a bit.

"No! Keep… moving!" Sheppard snapped, aware that his breathing was short and sharp.

Ford did as he as told (about time). Sheppard started to fall behind, he forced himself to keep up.

Then he tripped over a tree root, went sprawling, and lost consciousness.

Teyla, Ford and McKay (still over Ford's shoulder) stopped near the gate.

"It's crawling with guards, Major," Ford turned to Sheppard… and found he wasn't there.

"Where'd he go?" Ford was worried.

"I do not know, we must send a team back for him," suggested Teyla.

"Okay," agreed Ford. "You go to the gate and dial Atlantis, I'll take care of the guards."

Teyla nodded.

She crept closer to the DHD. Ford raised his P90 and fired, giving Teyla a path to the DHD as the guards ran to see where the attack had come from.

Teyla dialled the gate and entered he IDC, attracting the guards back to the gate, Ford ran out to join her, McKay still over his shoulder, still shooting. The Genii fired back, and hit McKay in the leg.

Ford continued his run to the gate, threw McKay into the wormhole and dived in after him, Teyla followed.

Weir watched as a unconscious McKay followed by Ford and them Teyla appeared form the Stargate.

"Shut it down!!" yelled Ford.

Weir was momentarily confused but then sighed and nodded to the scientist on Stargate controls, this was the second time on this particular mission SGA-1 had returned with McKay unconscious and without Major Sheppard. She tapped her radio.

"Doctor Beckett to the gate room, with a medical team," she ordered.

"_Be right there,"_ was her reply.

Soon enough McKay was taken to the infirmary and Lt Ford was explaining what had happed at 100 miles an hour

Weir held up her hand to silence him.

"So what you're telling me is; the ZPM has been destroyed and Major Sheppard is still on the planet somewhere, probably unconscious?" Weir questioned.

"Yes," Ford confirmed." We need to send a Jumper."

"I'll send Lorne, Green and Beckett along with a medical team," she assured him.


	9. Chapter 9: Too Many Arguments

CHAPTER NINE: TOO MANY ARGUMENTS CHAPTER NINE: TOO MANY ARGUMENTS

McKay woke in a bed, probably the infirmary and found he could hear voices, presumably Beckett, definitely what had woken him up. He caught the words

"That team's always getting into trouble,"

and

"You really think there'd learn."

along with:

"Definitely poisoned, just like Rodney."

He drifted back to sleep.

When he next woke he heard Beckett and Weir talking, weren't infirmaries meant to be quiet?

"So you think they'll both be alright?" Weir was asking.

"Aye. Rodney's pulse is back to normal again, and so is the Major's and Rodney's leg is getting much better, most the swelling has gone down. They're both quite lucky really," Beckett replied.

"So when will they be released?" Weir wanted to know.

"When they promise not to get themselves poisoned or injured or something like that," grumbled Beckett irritatedly.

"Carson, I'm being serious," Weir told him.

"So am I," complained Beckett, then frowned at Weir's expression. "Sorry. I don't know when they'll be released, neither of them have really woken up properly yet, though I'm expecting them to soon."

McKay went back to sleep.

Next time he woke up he was awake more properly (although he was aware of a bad headache), and was annoyed to find it was Beckett who had woken him up, _again_. Honestly, didn't he know some people needed rest?

"… know that you can be a stubborn bastard sometimes?" Beckett was saying to someone in the bed next to him.

"Yep," came the reply.

"What the hell were you thinking? Was it something like, 'Oh, I know, I'll get up and start running out of a clearing where I'll be found easily by a Puddle Jumper even though I've just been told I've been poisoned'?" Beckett was demanding. McKay realised that someone else had been hurt, what had Beckett a said? Oh yes, whoever they were had gotten themselves poisoned.

"Yeah, something like that," was all Beckett got.

"I'm asking you a question Major. Why the hell did you leave that clearing?"

McKay frowned, Beckett had said 'Major'. Had Sheppard got himself poisoned somehow? He paid more attention to the other person's voice.

"Ford was arguing about leaving me behind, so I decided to do with him." Yep, that definitely did sound like Sheppard.

"Even so! Had you not made yourself move, you probably wouldn't have cracked your rib…" Beckett started.

"I cracked my rib?" Sheppard questioned.

"Yes you did! When you tripped over that tree root."

"Oh, right."

"Anyway, you also managed to move the poison through you blood stream by getting up and running! So you wouldn't be in the infirmary anymore" Beckett was obviously not happy.

"No. If I'd stayed in the clearing the Genii would have caught up with me, found I wasn't unconscious yet and probably shot me on the spot. So, you're right, I wouldn't be in the infirmary right now, I'd be in a coffin!" Sheppard disagreed.

"You _are_ stubborn!" Beckett was not impressed.

"I sure am." McKay noticed that Sheppard sounded tired, but Beckett had said he'd been poisoned. That led straight back to; how the hell had Sheppard gotten himself poisoned?

McKay decided to find out, he opened his eyes.

Neither Beckett nor Sheppard noticed.

Sheppard was a bit pale, but other than that he didn't look too bad.

"Uh… will someone tell me why I was unconscious again and he got poisoned?" grunted McKay.

Beckett immediately turned his attention to McKay.

"Rodney, you're finally properly awake," Beckett observed.

"Oh brilliant! Just when I thought my headache couldn't get much worse!" groaned Sheppard.

"It's a shame you always manage to wake up first when we're in the infirmary, Major. I could really do with the satisfaction of waking you up!" McKay retorted.

"Oi, Beckett could you gag him for me? If we didn't bring any gags, I'm sure an apple would work," Sheppard seemed to be awake and alert enough to be sarcastic.

"Oh, ha ha, Major, very funny. Carson was right, you sure are a bastard…' McKay simply couldn't resist continuing the argument.

"Honestly! You to have just woken up for the first time from your little poison episode, and already you're arguing! I need to remember to separate you next time you nearly manage to get yourselves killed! I thought you were supposed to be trying to help Atlantis, not finding out who can get the worst injuries every time you go off world!" Beckett was obviously exasperated.

McKay focused on what Beckett had just said. They'd _both_ just woken up from poison? He hadn't been poisoned, had he?

"I wasn't poisoned," McKay informed Beckett.

"Yes, you were," Sheppard told him.

"No, I wasn't!" snapped McKay.

"Yes, you were," Sheppard repeated.

"I was not!" McKay insisted.

"Stop it!! I _do _need to separate you two!!" Beckett complained. "I practically just finished telling you to stop arguing because you're recovering in an infirmary and five seconds later you're arguing again! I don't know how Teyla and Ford put up with you!"

"He thinks that I was poisoned, he's obviously mental," grumbled McKay.

"Hey! I am **not** mental!! Beckett, tell him he was poisoned!" Sheppard was getting cross.

"I wasn't poisoned! I tell you; he's mental!"

"Am not! How would you know anyway? You were unconscious, because you had been poisoned by the Genii, might I add…"

"Bloody hell! You're at it again! Rodney, you _were_ poisoned…" began Beckett. McKay couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Told you," said Sheppard smugly.

Beckett glared at him.

"As I was saying, you were poisoned, Rodney. There was poison in the Genii dart you were hit with," Beckett explained.

"Oh. Then he was hit as well?" asked McKay.

"Yes, I was," Sheppard told him.

"Not only was he hit, but he also decided to force himself to stay awake and run after Teyla and Ford! In fact, if he hadn't done that he wouldn't be in the infirmary anymore. As it is, you would have been let out before him, but not only did you also run a little way while poisoned, you also got shot in the leg, and clonked on the head with a tree. I swear you two are having a competition of who can get the most injured!! I was told you just stood there when the tree hit you!" Beckett was definitely not happy.

"Who told you that?" questioned McKay, glaring at Sheppard.

Sheppard had suddenly become fascinated in the architecture of the ceiling.

McKay rolled his eyes, and then remembered something.

"It blew up!!" he exclaimed angrily. "I can't believe that!!"

He realised both Sheppard and Beckett were staring at him.

"Um… you know, the ZPM that the Genii blew up…" McKay explained.

"Yeah," Sheppard looked irritated.'

So did Beckett.

"I told Elisabeth not to send you back after Ford and you two spent the night in here while I ran tests to see if the water on that planet was toxic or not. But she sent you back to look for that ZPM, and you come back poisoned!" Beckett complained.

"That's hardly our fault," Sheppard pointed out.

"You could have insisted that it was useless looking for it because you weren't going to find it!" Beckett complained.

"True, but it was a ZPM and you know that Elisabeth knows that Atlantis really needs one so she'll do almost anything to get one."

"Exactly! It _was _ a ZPM! It's not anymore, it's shrapnel!"

McKay fell asleep to Beckett and Sheppard arguing.

When he woke up Beckett was off somewhere, probably getting lunch or something. McKay was wondering what had woken up when something hit him in the face.

"Ouch!" he grumbled.

Next to him, Sheppard snorted with amusement. McKay turned to look at him. Sheppard had several little pieces of screwed up foil next to him.

Sheppard flicked one at him and it hit him in the nose.

"Hey! What did you do that for?' demanded McKay.

"Pay back," Sheppard told him.

"For what?" McKay wanted to know.

"Oh, for that crack about waking me up, and for calling me mental." Sheppard grinned. "That, and I was bored."

"How did you manage to get hold of some foil?" grumbled McKay.

"Chocolate rapper," explained Sheppard.

"Great, thanks."

"No problem. Oh and McKay remember on that desert planet? When I said that I thought we weren't going to find the ZPM and that it was a waste of time?"

"Yes," replied McKay wearily.

"You should've listened to me."

"Oh, please. We had to keep looking for that ZPM it would have been stupid not to."

"No, it wouldn't," Sheppard persisted.

"Yes, it would," announced McKay.

That was when Beckett re-entered.

"Are you two arguing again?" he wanted to know.

"No," chorused Sheppard and McKay together.

Beckett muttered something under his breath and walked off.

"I wonder if we could make him keep his promise to separate us," mused Sheppard thoughtfully.

"We could find out," suggested McKay.

Sheppard grinned at him.

Beckett walked up again.

"Was so **not** my fault!" started Sheppard.

"Yes, it was! I was standing on the edge of a hole and you startled me! It was your fault!" McKay continued.

"It's not my fault you have a bad sense of balance!" Sheppard countered.

"That's it!" Beckett complained. "I'm separating you two! You only have one more night in here and that's only so I can double check for any more poison, but I can't keep you two together. You argue too much! You'll disturb all my other patients! Major, get up and you can have that bed over there. Rodney, you stay there."

Sheppard moved to the other bed.

Weir came in. She walked over to Beckett.

"Er, is there any particular reason you've moved Sheppard over there?" she wanted to know.

"Aye." Grumbled Beckett dryly. "He and McKay argue too much.

"Sheppard couldn't help it, he stuck his tongue out at McKay,

McKay stuck his tongue out back.

Sheppard replied by putting his middle finger up in a very offensive position in McKay direction.

McKay put up his middle finger and stuck his tongue out.

Sheppard retaliated by putting both of his middle fingers up and sticking his tongue out.

Beckett and Weir both saw the exchange.

"I see what you mean," Weir agreed, although she was smiling.

"I can't believe that!!" groaned Beckett.

McKay and Sheppard started laughing at him.

Beckett looked somewhat peeved.

The End

Authors Note: Yeah I know, extreme stupidity through out the story. It's my first Atlantis fanfic; I was having fun getting to know the characters. Please tell me what you thought.


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